Today, I was out in the streets handling some grown man business when I saw a dude at the bank wearing denim shorts. Needless to say I was instantly inspired to write a post about how I believe jean shorts and hip-hop are combined stronger than you may realize.

But as I sat down to write I felt that the Charleston weather was too beautiful to be negative so instead I though I’d speak on merits of camo cargo shorts instead. Right before I posted this I realized that this is actually my SECOND article about camo cargo shorts.I guess I’m kind obsessed (PICTURED ABOVE: my old Steve & Barry’s pair–my they rest in pieces) but fug it! I gotta go with my heart on this one and just let my fingers do the talking on this antiquated laptop.

Oh camo cargo shorts, how do I love Thee? Let me count the ways…

  • Price points are on point. The pair I have in my rotation was purchased at a Army/Navy Surplus store for $30. For whatever reason, you’ve seem to be one of the few clothing items on earth that hasn’t been “luxuried” out of my price range. Sneakers can be dirt cheap (Keds) to WTF (Louboutin). The same can be said with watches, watch straps, ties, tee shirts, and even shoe laces. But not you, old friend. You’ve kept your prices in check with reality and I love you for that.
  • You literally can be worn with anything. As colorful as the average streetwear enthusist tee shirt and sneaker collection is (or NOT so colorful as the case is with me) it’s good to have one less item to worry about matching. And while OVER MATCHING is a sin in my book, your sartorial grace and mercy compliment my Jordan Bordeaux’s and Head Held High tee perfectly. OR my yellow Ralph Lauren tee and Nike SBs. Shoot, I’ve even worn a button up with some wingtips and made it look fly! In short, there isn’t a color in the rainbow you can’t work with and for that I thank you.
  • Pockets on pockets on pockets. Six pockets comes in handy more often than not. I mean, with my racks on racks on racks empty wallet, keys, crazy prophylactics (not that I get to use them but whatevs, you never know), business cards, Carmex, cell phone and other whatnots it’s great to have a pair of shorts ready at my disposal that can accommodate my very important items. Shoot I’ve even seen shorts with 7 or 8 pockets–still useful but a bit much for my taste. #ThankYouBasedCamoShortsGod
  • Can’t hit what ya can’t see! In addition to allowing my upper body wardrobe to be more diverse than Diddy’s stock portfolio, camo cargo shorts would allow me to blend with my surroundings if I ever got stuck in the jungle and needed to hide from a predator. My yellow tee shirt might blow my cover but that’s a story for another time. But seeing as the likely hood of ME being in anyone’s jungle is slim to none–my shorts can still work in an urban or suburban setting. How? By hiding my stains. It’s hard work trying to find a parking space when your in a downtown setting, so when you DO finally find that sweet spot and reward yourself by eating a chicken Caesar wrap (with all organic ingredients too bitch, you know how we does it) it’s good to know that when if you drop a lil’ dressing on your lap you can still function for the rest of the day. Just wipe that bad boy down and watch the Caesar residue be hidden by the amazing pattern of your camo cargos. NOTE: this works REALLY well with Tiger stripe camos. I don’t know why but it just does.

What other reasons am I missing? I want to make sure I’m giving camo cargo shorts their just due so if you don’t mind: tell me why you go coo-coo for camo cargo shorts! If I get some good ones, I’ll compose a list of reader responses!